(Essay 1) Choosing Celibacy on My Path to Freedom by Marie de Kock

Would you call a womb that is consciously receiving the protection and nurture from the Cosmic Womb and consciously storing the bliss of self cultivated implosive orgasm for the purpose of Creation celibate or creative?

PHOTO CREDIT: Artist Arna Baartz, www.artofkundalini.com; used by permission of the artist

PHOTO CREDIT: Artist Arna Baartz, http://www.artofkundalini.com; used by permission of the artist

I share my personal story to shed light on the issue of celibacy as an energetic preference; most certainly not as a moral choice in service of some whoever or whatever. To me, feminine sexuality and spirituality has one and the same origin: the Cosmic Womb or Mago. It has nothing to do with being a good girl. And I advocate the energetic value of womb purification, because I sincerely believe the collective womb needs to be cleansed, liberated and fortified in order to rid women of the hideous fear that drags us back down into being the victims of rapists – for real or in our minds.

Many a time I have raised my fist to the skies shouting: “How can you allow rape?!” because I find rape so profoundly disturbing. And then I am reminded that We Are Her, and that we must create a new reality.On my path to freedom my body has informed me that Womanhood is more than Motherhood, Womanhood is Creation. As women, we contain a fractal replica of Her within us; our wombs: So we must utilize our creative capacity to create a world of peace, and love and harmony and beauty. Hidden within the vortex of our wombs, where the fetus develops, is our point of intention, attraction and creation. And the Universal Law of Attraction responds to that essentially feminine point.

Knowing our true potential, I find it discouraging that so few women consciously comprehend that we are multi-dimensional Divine Beings expressing in the 3rd dimension. How will we ever become the Creators of our own reality and the Creators of a blissful, thriving world, if we do not OWN our wombs, our sacral chakras, on the intentional 5th dimension, where our golden, spiritual placenta is surreptitiously gobbled up via male ejaculation…

…and more so… utterly unacceptably so, robbed of its golden nutrition via rape. The moment I think about the horrific, lifelong consequence of rape on the energetic level; the fact that rapists hook into and feed off their victims until death unless those survivors of sexual abuse liberate their wombs, I want to raise my fist to skies again:

“Is this extreme expression of duality truly necessary for our expansion? Is rape going to be a part of the promised Golden Age?”If our sexual ignorance continues, how will we ever step into a new paradigm?

Please understand that these lifelong energetic connections occur automatically whenever testosterone is ejaculated inside the vagina, but not when the male experiences implosive orgasm. These energetic hooks and lines are powerful and if unwanted, they have to be severed on the intentional, hormonal, emotional and energetic levels.

During menstruation the shedding of our moon blood presents a beautiful opportunity for communion with Mother Earth and it is the best time to sever unwanted energetic connections—with a little diligence. Please understand that the blood shedding alone does not eliminate the cords attached to our core on the 5th dimension.

There are ancient, matriarchal therapeutic practices to get rid of the unwanted male hooks and cords. This is part of the secret knowledge that we lost when we lost our wise women. The crones who had chosen celibacy were the ones who had the clarity to See these hooks and cords and dark patches in the umbilical zone of the body. Their vision was clear. They were the ones who guided circles of women to clean up their feminine essence during the new moon rituals.

These rituals are loaded with practical purpose. As soon as you can see energy, the real purpose of the female spirituality practices becomes obvious. It is about protecting and purifying and nourishing our spiritual placenta, our Kore within our wombs, our feminine spiritual essence; so that we can intend our best dreams and wishes into reality at the time of full moon and ovulation from that purified point of attraction.

Had I been initiated into real womb wisdom at age 12, had I been told about the energetic consequences of sex, my choices would have been different. But in 1979, at age 18, there I was, on the Pill, practicing casual, relatively exciting yet not very satisfying sex; rebelling against the patriarchy, thinking that I was celebrating my sexual freedom! Meantime I was giving away my magical power. Not knowing about the value of implosive orgasm, our free energy that nurtures our 5th dimensional point of attraction and creation inside our wombs, I was wasting away my personal pot of gold.

Twenty years later, in 1999, I took a vow of celibacy. It was a private affair, like most of my life as a solitary practitioner. That morning my head was shaved by a hesitant hairdresser in a salon with enormous shards of mirrors- like my shattered femininity—I thought to myself, after years of casual sex and a few times, passionate, possessive and painful relationships. So at the age of 38, celibacy was a liberating decision.

The waning moon rose over the waves on the deserted beach of Fish Hoek on the East Coast of South Africa.Calmly convinced that celibacy and abstinence were necessary choices on my path to freedom, I made the simple affirmation; “I am Free”. And freedom is what my feminine spirit has always yearned for—more than anything else in this world.

At the age of 9 I had stated with utter conviction, that I would never marry nor have any children, not knowing where the words came from. And in 1999 there I was again, dedicating vows to Gaia that could be interpreted as a denial of my womanhood; but on the contrary: It was the reclamation of my feminine, magical power of creation.

When I first tried the recapitulation method to cleanse my womb—as taught by Taisha Abelar in”The Sorcerer’s Crossing: A Woman’s Journey”, I had found it unsettling to revisit my negative sexual experiences. My mind got trapped inside those stories again. Yet I persisted and was amazed to see how the bad memories eventually lost their emotional charge—how I could finally view them in a neutral state of mind. Sometimes my mind still got stuck in some unpleasant memory, and then inappropriate emotional responses would bubble up.

It wasn’t easy, but my spiritual practices of meditation, tai chi and magical passes as well as sacred circle work continued to sustain and strengthen me. Later I was delighted to discover that I could manage my emotions in an objective way with the 6 Healing Sounds of the Tao. With the Healing Sounds the practitioner need not invite the story. The transformational visualizations are done with color frequencies and eye movements. And the emotional body lightens up—talk about light hearted!

On that night of my vow in 1999, as I honored the center of the sacred circle, my womb, infested with hooks and lines, little did I know what that really meant. How could I have known my own creative power when I had given it away for 20 years? It is only in retrospect, after 16 years of celibacy and abstinence that I comprehend the true power of a liberated womb, and a balanced endocrine system controlled by a clear matrix, a detoxified pituitary gland. I can assure you, it has been an adventure; a magical path that continues to unfold.

After 7 years of celibacy the energetic feeding lines start to fade away naturally, with or without any form of womb purification. By that time, I had done the recapitulation of my sexual past twice already. I was in Taiwan, and I had these humorous experiences that I named the “Pleading Penises”. In one month a small boy, my boss and a surfer truly accidentally and innocently exposed themselves within my eyesight—almost as if the collective penis was begging for another chance. (To no avail) For the rest of that year I experienced a noticeable resurgence of energy on the physical and emotional levels. My enthusiasm and creativity increased. I really felt refreshed and inspired.

In 2012 my menopause and kundalini-awakening occurred simultaneously. With all that creative force pouring through me, complete celibacy was no longer an option. But normal, self induced explosive orgasm did not feel good. It felt like a crude lowering of my vibration, and I felt drained afterwards. While I was investigating Sacred Sex, I discovered the therapeutic work that can be done with aG-spot massage.

In the practice of Sacred Sex according to the Tao, the G-spot massage is the way to ‘open the first gate’ with an implosive orgasm before penetration. But the G-spot is more than an erotic zone: it functions like a store house where sexual memories are kept.

Gentle, continuous stimulation of the zone activates a purification process with the release of an unusual amount of fluid, like cleansing tears. Hence it has been labeled as female ejaculation or squirting. Although we most certainly want the accumulated negative memories to exit the body, we still draw our creative force upwards, into the vortex of the womb when doing the G-spot massage as a healing therapy.

The massage technique eliminates negative, toxic memories, specifically on the hormonal level. Once the G-spot has been detoxified, positive orgasmic memories are accumulated there that is conducive to multi-orgasmic sex. The cleansing therapy can be done with a trusted, understanding and loving partner, or it can be done as a form of self cultivation.

I couldn’t believe how much anger had remained stored inside that little button of pleasure, even after I had done so much energetic work. The hidden rage, indignation, and self-humiliation that literally squirted out of me the first time that I tried the massage was astounding.

Afterward three powerful releases I was more in touch with myself; my inner voice, my connection with Gaia, my dreams, my Seeing during Reiki therapy for others and myself—all of those third eye, pituitary functions became clearer. It was if an invisible veil had been lifted. A quiet confidence that I had never known before set in and stayed. During my meditation and tai chi training the amount of consciousness inside my body increased dramatically and continues to do so. Gone were the sporadic fevers and diarrhea that I used to suffer from since my promiscuous twenties. I realized that finally, I had liberated my womb.

My interest in Sacred Sex was piqued, so I investigated further. All Sacred Sex, whether it is Tao sex, or Tantric sex, or the Kundalini Yoga preparation, aim to draw our creative force up, into the Tan Tien or vortex, combining the Kundalini energy with the Kore energy, and then up the spine in order to activate the entire endocrine system with the release of the different pleasure hormones connected to the rainbow of chakras. Pleasure is medicine, as the Tao masters teach. All of us deserve deeply satisfying sex that maintains our wellbeing.

Women experience a peculiar type of energy loss if they don’t have implosive orgasms to rejuvenate themselves. Normal sex, with explosive orgasms (or none at all), leads to further loss of our intentional,creative energy.Women sense their loss on the subconscious level and often feel that they lack love, and in a way that is true. It is blissful, multi-orgasmic love-making that replenishes our vitality. Sacred orgasm nurtures our feminine essence inside our wombs, hearts, pituitary, thalamus and pineal glands. When that happens, we subconsciously feel that the energy exchange is fair; the energy that we are giving is replenished.

Women’s sense of worthlessness in this world comes from being tapped at the core intentional level, our willpower to fulfill our own dreams is exactly what we give away on the energetic level when we have explosive, adrenaline sex; and consequently we lose our energy on all other levels, including the financial level.

I prefer talking about the material level; because a woman who is consciously connected to her Kore of intention and attraction and creation, is automatically connected to the core of Mother Earth, as well as the Cosmic Womb. Her will is one with the divine will of Gaia, her security line is rooted in the centre of her spinning Mother Planet, her vortex receives the same constant nurture and protection. Thus her material wellbeing is ensured.

Clearly, young women should be initiated into this information so that they can make informed choices about their sexual activity for the sake of their own futures. Of course, the creative, ‘magical’ power of an initiated virgin is unrivalled. She should be utilizing it to create the magnificent, bright future for herself that she is perfectly capable of doing on her own.

Usually her mother and her society is telling her that her security lies in the strong arms of a man—perhaps not in those exact words, but the subliminal message is still EVERYWHERE. On the contrary, the energetic reality is a mysterious, powerful, mystical experience gestating inside her virgin womb, silently waiting to unfold. Again, I do not recommend virginity as a moral choice at all; I see it as an energetic preference. This informed choice had been made by priestesses and witches and wise women for thousands of years; because they were still able to See energy.

To be continued.

Read Meet Mago Contributor Marie de Kock.

5 thoughts on “(Essay 1) Choosing Celibacy on My Path to Freedom by Marie de Kock

  1. One is completed tuned in to your celibacy, I know it too for many years, and yes it is a freedom. Child rape can affect us in many ways and we can heal to a certain extent, but the memory is fuelled even in marriage when you become just a body for a man’s fantasies that you will never find out, and felt for so long with eventual questioning of “why do you not kiss me anymore, why do you tell me my breasts are too big and tell me to cover them, why do you not look into my eyes, why do you not talk to me, why do you not consider what is above my waist including my thought processes while you groan in your fantasy which I am not part of?” And getting the response “Oh my God, shut up woman, you ruin everything”. It is hard to explain how one goes through different stages of life, dealing with it in different ways to process the healing…by not being in denial of what is going on, by communication, which he can’t deal with, by feeling empowered by discussing the usage of my mind and body, by being confident enough to say no more. No more becomes part of the wisdom of experience in respecting one’s body and mind. I just love a meaningful hug, but an erection becomes too prominent too soon every time, and I will not allow my body to be used anymore. Where there is no respect and consideration, only male self gratification, a woman will explore herself, start to care about herself and make her own choices when she is ready; Indeed an empowering freedom.

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