Forgiveness is not of a property that I nor one individual can exercise. If one transgresses against something or someone, it violates the Law of Nature/the Creatrix within the self and against all others since all is interconnected in reality. Once aggression is done, it can’t be undone.
I am talking about the history of patriarchal aggression. Patriarchy is doomed to run its course. It is like spilt milk and we can’t put it back in the glass again. [Indeed, the Magoist Cosmogony illustrates that the milk spring (mineral water spring) of the primordial Earth is destroyed upon the first disaster of “five tastes,” a mythic event that refers to taking living beings for food for the first time in human history.] What we do/think is engineered to run its course of causality and there are always consequences for an input.
Nature/the Creatrix DOES NOT forgive trespassers. That is NOT how the Universe works. What is done is done for good! S/HE makes the best out of the wronged, the violated, not in that S/HE forgives wrong doers. But in that S/HE is Life itself! Nature never tolerates transgressors. Modern minds are too numb/dull to sense that. Many still think that Nature is lifeless and does not respond to patriarchal assaults.
We who are united with All in WE know that Nature is neither tolerating nor infinitely accepting; see global natural catastrophes caused by climate change as a whole, for example! Nature re-members. Details are inscribed not lost. Like the calendar, a minute discrepancy in calculating time requires extra months and days to be added within a year’s chart. On an inter-cosmic scale, accuracy matters. Nature can be assessed through mathematics. A discrepancy in space science, for example, would cause a detrimental result. That is Nature’s intelligence. If we pollute river, it affects all in the eco-system, the whole. Patriarchal minds refuse to see that.
Wrongs must be prevented in the first place and avoided in all times. We don’t want to meddle with wrongs, even by revenging the aggressor. I don’t mean that we should not fight against any form of injustice. Some of us would give our lives to right the wrong and to protect our loved ones from the causality of injustice! That would be a way of active detachment from wrongs. That is what indigenous cultures or pre-patriarchal gynocentric/matriarchal cultures uphold. Patriarchy has wronged since its inception. It does not know how to not wrong, ontologically speaking! Its fathers, to make sense, have to deal with the wrong and wrong doers. They are in need of the concept of forgiveness.
On another vein, I was intrigued by a familiar story line that goes “Don’t forgive me” uttered by the hero/hera in some Korean historical dramas. S/he admits failure and accepts the consequence, often death. What kind of mind forces one to say, “Never forgive me. I deserve the consequence/punishment”? This is the saying of a truthful person who goes by the Law of Nature: I have wronged and am ready to accept the consequence. S/he doesn’t beg for life or forgiveness. That is how we straighten our own wrongs.
In ancient texts, it is told that sages would wash their ears, when they were told a wrong doing by someone. They dealt with the wrong thought/story by not taking interest in it or dissociating themselves with it. Wrong doers are shunned and dismissed outright.
Forgiveness is not the topic of a person’s action. My forgiveness of wrong will help whom, when no one can revert its wrong? Consequences are already taking place. Letting go of the wrong doer will work. That is not forgiveness. We can/need to make adjustments, meaning choose the best each time out of the given wrong inflicted by others, culture, and ourselves. I wouldn’t call this forgiveness.
That said, why are people so obsessed with the urge of forgiveness? Is forgiveness a moral mandate? If so, by whom? Who said that we need to forgive those who act against us and the life force? Forgiveness is a patriarchal/mistaken premise. We can let go a misdeed but don’t forgive it so that we won’t allow it to happen again on us. In fact, no one can forgive someone who did wrong. What does forgiving mean? Accepting wrong doers as they are? Making peace with the wronged? Pretending that no wrong was made? Or self-consolation that one can move on with life? We can’t control the behavior of a wrong doer.
Well, I cannot but be reminded of the Lord’s Prayer of the Christian church. “Our Father… forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
No, I wouldn’t force myself with the idea of forgiving my/our trespassers. I may forget about them at times. Trespassers set themselves on the course of causality, which affects all. I don’t forgive people who trespass against humanity and the natural world. Here is the tricky part: “lead us not into temptation.” What does “temptation” refer to? Who is the agent for wrongdoing? Evil? Can evil be separated from its actor? It implies that men are prone to temptation by the devil. It frames women or “the snake.” Patriarchal morality twists the Law of Nature to serve male authority.
These lines from the Lord’s Prayer crystalizes Christian morality; Jesus said, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:24).
The logic implies that, those who do not know that they are doing wrong need to be forgiven. Who are those who don’t know that they are doing wrong? And who are those who know that they are doing wrong? This is like today’s legal rhetoric in which the convicted seeks to defend himself/herself that s/he was under an influence or illness. If Jesus had said that, he proves to be one of patriarchs. If this had been a make-up story by the author, then his death was coopted by the church, making him the first victim of the church. And the Christian church should teach wrong doers to know what they are doing!
As a feminist, I am free from the responsibility of “forgiving patriarchal aggressors.” The same goes for “forgiving racists or colonialists.” They are ever accountable for the despicable destiny of human violence that affects all including the non-human world. For no one can forgive them. By saying that, however, I don’t mean that we can safely do Othering by dividing “we” from “they.” We are NOT going to fall into a closed worldview. What is done is done but we are not done yet! We are HERE and NOW to co-create! We CAN ever redeem ourselves and the whole by creating a new present in response to what is gone for good. In doing so, we transform our future as well as our past. New thoughts to be evolved from here.
(Meet Mago Contributor) Helen Hye-Sook Hwang.
Response from Sara Wright:
Helen,
Please post what I wrote if you can…
This thesis of yours about patriarchy as the source of “forgiveness” is correct… It serves patriarchy… allows offenders to continue their behavior unchecked.
I do not forgive those who support rape of women and the earth and as you said it’s not up to me to do so. In my way of thinking what I need to do is to hold them accountable…
Thanks to you what I see is that I have confused forgiveness with letting go… For example, my mother was my first abuser… By the time I could name this I was in my thirties… and then I got angry and judged her… eventually reaching the point where I could hold her accountable and begin to let go – this process took years… Forgiveness never entered into it, I see now though I have used the word forgiveness to describe how I have accepted what is – again, thanks to you.
We need another word or phrase maybe beyond “letting go” to describe that process, that when completed, allows us to let go or become free of the bondage that is the result of being tied to someone in a negative way – what do you think?
As for forgiving anyone for rape etc of Woman and the Earth – well, this is beyond my comprehension… I choose to hold aggressors accountable… even while continuing to advocate.
You have helped clarify my thinking so much and we do need to expand this conversation to challenge others to think differently.
Gosh, you are amazing, you really are.
Love Sara
Dear Sara,
I have posted our conversations below. I agree that we need a word for “letting go of inflictors.” And this is an incompleted thought and I hope to follow up with a thought on “For-giving,” the giving of the mothered universe, inspired by Genevieve Vaughan’s advocacy on “For-giving.” I owe Gen for this initial thought, although we disagree on some premises. Thank you for your sharing and all your ardent responses!
Sara,
I revised the beginning and the ending part. Hope you can check it out.
Below comment from Sara Wright:
Helen,
Your questions cut like a knife through delusion. Why indeed forgive? Your argument is so powerful.
“… why are people so obsessed with the urge of forgiveness? Is forgiveness a moral mandate? If so, by whom? Who said that we need to forgive those who act against us and the life force? Forgiveness is a patriarchal/mistaken premise. We can let go a misdeed but don’t forgive it so that we won’t allow it to happen again on us. In fact, no one can forgive someone who did wrong. What does forgiving mean? Accepting wrong doers as they are? Making peace with the wronged? Pretend that no wrong was made? Or self-consolation that one can move on with life? We can’t control the behavior of a wrong doer.”
Good god, I never saw it so clearly – forgiveness is all about patriarchy – you are so right.
I do think that “forgiving” another does allow us to move on – but this is more about self than other forgiveness. I think we need another word for this process. I have just come through a personal crisis where I have been forced to take a stand against women who tacitly/openly support rape by their behavior – do I forgive them? Maybe not. I hold them accountable – I choose to distance myself – I forgive in the sense that I recall that I am a product of this patriarchal culture and once behaved like these women do – but this is more about me – forgiving me – and not them.
Thank you so much for clarifying this point.
I am going to save this essay so I can quote from it.
Love, Sara
Your email came as a fresh gift from the Universe, Sara. I hope our talks/thoughts reflected and articulated. Wish it can be posted as comment in RTM so that it can inspire and invite others.
With much love and appreciation of who you are,
Helen