9’ w x 8’ h
Growing up with a Chinese culture that values the son, but negates the daughter, Cynthia Tom uses art to unravel and address embedded feelings of being invisible and unnecessary. In China, during her grandmother’s youth, she had to horrific job of killing her baby sisters as they were born. This was not unusual and the unspoken trauma continues for generations.
Each dress form, in this painting, represents the voices of the thousands if not millions of females who have generationally been eradicated through adoption or infanticide, and those who have been or are being abused, neglected and silenced.
This painting is an affirmation that women (past, present, future) rise. Rise in feelings of love, forgiveness, admiration, respect and POWER, shifting from being invisible and unnecessary to loved, vital and empowered.
FLYING LESSONS. Inquire Within
Flying Lessons – means to inspire our women (past, present and future) to grow wings and fly, to own their empowerment and power.
“Inquire Within” asks women, families and society to question their own thoughts and beliefs. What do they/we think about ourselves as women? How do we treat each other, with respect and reverence, love and kindness? Do we claim ourselves as others’ victims? Do we make others responsible for our happiness? Do we need to make internal adjustments to claim our own well-being so we can care for others in our communities? How can we come from a place of abundance and generosity?
Regarding Hungry Ghosts. This term comes from Buddhist and Taoist beliefs and refers to lost spirits that roam the earth burdened by unfulfilled desires and insatiable needs.
I use the term Hungry Ghosts to refer to ancestral family patterns of trauma.
Growing up in a Chinese culture that values the son, but not the daughter, I use art to unravel and address embedded feelings of being invisible and unnecessary. My hungry ghost gets in the way of my daily life. I have to remind myself to feel of value to myself and others, that I can ignore people who cause me pain and that I can say no if something doesn’t feel right or does not interest me. I don’t have to take on a million tasks help others to prove my value. I am still important even if I did nothing else.
Recently, a medical intuitive said I have to create art addressing my Chinese ancestral pain of unwanted females. Shifting from unconscious feelings of Disconnectedness (I have to earn the right to be accepted) to conscious recognition of Connectedness (that I deserve love and respect just for being), my painting, Ancestras, Please Rise, is a medication on Self-Acceptance and Deep Love of Self. It metaphorically peels away the next layer of virtually unconscious beliefs of being invisible and undeserving. This journey involves unraveling generations of cultural teachings.
Inspiration:
1. “Emperor’s Tomb” in China. Since I was little, I have asked,” where are the women”. FLYING LESSONS. Inquire Within, 8’ h x 9’ w x 2’d three panel painting and mixed media piece begins with 100+ dress forms painted in mass on the ground. In the distance, they rise and float up into the air, transforming into 3-D mixed media sculptures. Each dress form represents the thousands, if not millions of Asian females discarded through generations of adoption or infanticide, who suffer abuse or neglect. This is a powerful wish of love for women (past, present and future) to “rise.”
2. My Chinese ancestral patterns endorsing that sons matter, daughters do not. I honor my great grandmother, grandmother and mother whose experiences included female negation. While living on a farm in China, my grandmother‘s job, prior to 1920, was to kill her baby sisters just after birth, causing unspeakable trauma through the ancestral lines. Because of these traumas, held in silence, which are not unusual, I use art to ask questions as form of protest. What messages does this send to our daughters, our mothers, our aunties? How does this affect our lives? How do we recognize and overcome a legacy of culturally enforced irrelevance?”
Each dress form, in this painting, represents the voices of the thousands if not millions of females who have generationally been discarded through adoption or infanticide, and those who have been or are being abused, neglected and silenced.
This painting is an affirmation that women (past, present, future) rise. Rise in feelings of love, forgiveness, admiration, respect and POWER, shifting from being unimportant and unnecessary to loved, vital and empowered. Ancestras, Please Rise.
Cynthia’s work has always encouraged a cultural shift to embrace the importance and power of women, especially within women themselves. She comprehends the multigenerational depth and breadth of these feelings of being unwanted, undeserving, unnecessary amongst women and uses art as the platform to encourage sharing, witnessing and to educate. She does this work through A PLACE OF HER OWN (art-based healing program for woman).
For many years, I’ve been creating art and art projects to unravel ancestral diminution and destruction of Chinese girls and to heal an almost unconsciously held beliefs that I am invisible unnecessary, undeserving, an imposition. It is a visceral feeling and not a rational decision. Art is the key to enter this space of culturally enforced silence, to dig into the unconscious and make it conscious. I have made progress and continue to heal and grow my wisdom and love.
Asian Pacific American women have deep, trans-generational, and cultural relationships to trauma, mental health issues that are taboo to discuss and consequentially ignored and suppressed until it shows up physically. Asian cultures emphasize compliance and conformity, resulting in self-denial and silence. Depression is the second leading cause of death for APA women.
This art is meant to spark personal storytelling and sharing as one way to address trauma. This project encourages artists, women and community to connect through identity exploration with empathetic peers.
In February 2019, a major epiphany got at the root of my Hungry Ghosts. It stems from my grandmother’s job. She had to kill her baby sisters between 1910-1920. It stopped when she was sold to my grandfather and sent to the U.S.
Working with an intuitive, we brought this out of my body and into an art vision to help dilute the power behind this ancestral and contemporary crushing of the female spirit. Most recently China is incarcerating and torturing women who protest sexual harassment on public transit and domestic violence in the home. But that is a discussion for another time. (The Feminist Five by Leta Hong Fincher)
[Editor’s Note: This piece is included in She Summons: Why… Goddess Feminism, Activism and Spirituality?” Volume 1 (Mago Books, 2021).]