Mother Wash it all Away by Frances Tronetti, Ph.D.

Wikimedia Commons image

Watching the rain fall

Pouring down on the windshield

My day is not over, and it just has gotten worse

The week started with a joke about getting a new job as a game warden

And then yesterday happened

And it wasn’t a joke.

Everything’s crashing down, so much extra work

I get told to do more while my resources are cut in half

A friend said they want my job when I leave

I asked if they thought I would quit

They said yes 

I have that look.

That look they’ve seen before

The dead eyes of people who keep working 

When they have nothing left to give

Sitting in the car in the rain

Waiting for the pick-up.

Watching the little drops of water collect on the windshield

One drop hits another, then another, before it becomes a stream going down

Letting that wash over me

The healing, soothing rain of the mother

The rat tat on the window and the car frame.

Mother take it

Just take that negative energy, take that pain

Take that desperation and despair and hopelessness 

Just let it wash away.

I can’t be outside but I can become refreshed by the rain

By looking at still green grass, at a pine tree

By watching a bird fluff itself to keep warm.

Mother just take it

Just take the stress, take everything

Wash it all away

Leave me feeling like I can do this again

As I get back to work.

Midway through last week, the state department which oversees my program’s grant made a decision that essentially doubled part of my workload. In a few hours, all our plans for the summer program were altered and I felt completely dead. I’d been working so hard to build my program and make it work. I balanced the educational requirements with our desire to give the students an enjoyable experience.  

As I sat having a panic attack/breakdown, I watched the rainstorm happening outside the van. I pictured the stress, and the negative feelings, and my anger washing away as I watched water droplets hit, collect, then stream down the windshield. A feeling of peace washed over me and I was able to get through the day, teach my students, and get home.

Sometimes we can’t do a full ritual or cleansing, was have only a few moments to gather ourselves before we need to get back to work. But, sometimes those few moments are all that we need, to ask for a little help to control ourselves and our emotions so we can get home safe.


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