[Editor’s Note: This anthology was published by Girl God Books (2022).]
“The Croning: A Ritual of American Witchcraft” by Nikki Wardwell Sleath
At the time of this writing, I am 48 years old and have not yet quite physiologically exited the motherhood phase of life. I write this humbly, and with great awe and respect for my elders – for the women who have endured through life and time and continue to stay present and serve as pillars of wisdom and experience for those of us continuing on through the amazing and difficult journey that is womanhood.
I wanted to contribute, therefore, not through the personal experience of having yet successfully passed into my own crone phase, but through the sharing of a tradition that has been created in my own magickal community for the purpose of celebrating and uplifting our beloved crones. In the Society of Witchcraft and Old Magick, we have lots of special traditional rituals which the members of the priesthood are trained to administer, and one among the coming-of-age rites that we offer to our members is our Croning Ritual. Not a lot of what we do in our order is known by or available to the general public since we are a private occult order, but it is entirely possible for me to share some of the deep and important sentiment around our croning tradition here without divulging any actual oathbound material.
The whole impetus for having this ritual available to our members comes from the belief that we, as a magickal community do not want to fail where our society has failed in terms of celebrating and beautifying the aged portion of life, and fearlessly loving this stage of living that precedes death. We hoped to have a special ceremony and gathering where the aged women of our community who wished to participate would be revered and acknowledged for all of the wisdom, power, life experience, beauty and vision that they have accumulated, and that now comprises the immensely magickal being they have become.
We did succeed in creating such a ceremony a few years ago, and it was a group effort between myself and a handful of priesthood trainees at the time. Not only did we create the type of special ritual that this phase of life deserves, but we also consecrated a very special coven tool that is used in the conducting of this ritual.
The croning staff is a gorgeous, human height oak staff that is wrapped in copper and obsidian wires, ornamented with keys and feathers, acorns and crystals, and various charms. It is carved with an eclectic assortment of runes and symbols and is anointed with oils. It is a special and beautiful tool that was ritually consecrated solely for use in our croning rites. The staff, on the one hand, is reminiscent of a walking stick that you might picture with popular old wizard-type characters. It can unashamedly be used as an ambulatory aid to the elder that literally helps them walk but also is a tool that conducts magickal power, especially the power that comes from deep and long-term connection to the energies of the earth and trees around us.
The oak is a symbol of strength and longevity, and its roots are deep and wide and create a network of contacts to all kinds of DNA in the transmuting soil. The crone, like the oak, has put down many roots in this life and in so doing has been able to absorb a diverse array of wisdom, knowledge and experience from the many energies and entities with which she has come into contact. In addition to serving as a channel for drawing wisdom energy into the circle for the rite, the staff is also later laid down on the floor, serving as a symbolic threshold over which the crone will step. Just as a new couple might jump the broom in a handfasting ceremony, the crones being celebrated will purposely and consciously step over the threshold of the staff, accepting the beauty, challenges, responsibility, and respect that this upper stage of life brings.
It is a gorgeous and intense moment of stepping into the ownership of this stage of life and of feeling the transition, the contrast between the role of the mother and the role of the wise one.
In our croning ceremony, we refer to the crone as “the crown” and we honor the queenly place of importance that our elders should hold. The members often pick out a special crystal crown, circlet or headpiece of their choice with which they are literally crowned after the crossing of the staff’s threshold. For members who do not favor the use of ritual crowns, a ring (which looks like a tiny crown if you think about it) may be chosen to be adorned instead. The crown or ring then becomes a reminder of the respect and royal status that comes along with embracing of cronehood and can be worn also at future coven gatherings to help keep that energy consciously afoot.
The ceremony has beautiful words that also bring us the opportunity to acknowledge many powerful crone goddesses such as The Cailleach, Mother Holle, Changing Woman, and Baba Yaga, as well as the crone aspects of many triple or quadruple-faced goddesses. These energies are invited into the circle and are used to help hold the sacred power of the container that is unique to this ritual.
There is also a “Charge of the Crone” that we use which is a lovely prayer that we created and customized that sits in parallel to the well-known “Charge of the Goddess” by Doreen Valiente. The recitation of this charge is dramatic and intense and really serves to bring through the flow of the imposing truth-chills as the crones feel themselves gaining in spiritual power. The rite also allows the participating members to have the option of changing their magickal name.
In our tradition there are only certain specific points in time where a magickal name is consecrated, namely at dedication, initiation or croning. We realized that in acknowledging all that one has experienced by the time they are fully stepping into this phase of life, that it might also be necessary to adapt one’s magickal or spiritual name to fit the differently evolved person they have now become. Priorities and worldviews can change, as can magickal talents and primary spiritual guides, and these are often things taken into consideration with the formulation of a magickal name. Also, the opportunity to formally take on a new magickal name simply helps to make this coming-of-age transition more special and to empower it uniquely according to the desired vibrations of the participant.
Lastly, and probably most importantly, our croning ritual is an opportunity for other members of the community of any age to come and witness, and to speak out in reverence of the croned participants and prop them up as we honor this life transition. We have a special altar where the celebrated crones get to bring photos from different stages of their lives, certificates or acknowledgements of various accomplishments, sentimental mementos or anything else that feels like a celebration of who they have become so far.
Surrounded by their prized photos and possessions, the other witches who have come to witness are given the opportunity to speak aloud and highlight the talents of the crones, to speak of their best qualities, the valuable traits they bring to the community and just to be able to express an outpouring of love and support for our amazing elders. In turn, the participants themselves are encouraged, if they feel so inclined, to share of their experiences in navigating menopause and having reached this stage of life. It is an opportunity to talk openly, in sacred circle and with full group support about any aspect of the process, be it challenging or amazing. We acknowledge that while some may feel the loss of menstruation, that the womb is a psychic place of creativity whether it is still in the stages of being able to physically nurture a fetus or not.
We also often speak of death as an initiation, a healing, and a final rite of passage that we may, with the right courage, look forward to in many ways. The gathering, of course, is also peppered with toasting, shared treats, lots of hugs, and of course, gifts. All in all, this croning ritual of American Witchcraft is an opportunity for a community of witches to express our respect for the crone as elder, as wise-woman, as persevering one, as sorceress, as beauty, as power, as leader, as advisor, as teacher, as psychopomp, as healer, as mentor, as empath, as experienced warrior, as grandmother, as witch, as goddess incarnate, as death midwife and prophet, as the crowned one and as trusted friend, family member and confidante.
I hope that in sharing some concepts and components of our croning tradition that others will also be inspired to create something similar. We can create new rituals to replace the pieces of our societal celebrations that have been long lost or neglected and yet are so important to living wholly as a community and as a human woman. To fail to celebrate and respect the elders is to remain blind to so many important facets of life, and these aspects of life and the time before death need to be embraced and loved if we are to truly live fully. A gem with any of its facets obscured does not, in fact, fully reflect all of the light that passes through it. Let us work through our fears and embrace them all.
By maiden, mother, crone and death,
By water, blood, bone and breath;
By the powers of earth, sky and sea,
As we do will, so shall it be!