Recently I had a serious accident and ended up in a nursing home after the surgery. My experience in this house of horrors was terrifying. Without any family support I was left to a health system that is hopelessly broken.
Drugged on my arrival it was a few days before I realized that the 17 drugs were making me sicker than I already was. I take only one regular medication and it wasn’t until I refused all but my one medication for PTSD/anxiety that my head began to clear. I was left alone under bright lights for my entire stay, and it remains to be seen whether I have suffered permanent eye damage as a result because I am so photophobic. The noise was unbearable making it impossible to sleep. No one bathed me or cleaned the filthy room. Ringing for help brought no one to my aid most of the time. It is important to state that there were exceptions, a couple of dedicated aides and three nurses, but no one was reliable on a daily basis. Because I was unable to eat the fatty unpalatable food, I lost pounds every few days. I was slowly starving. I remember thinking that I was going to die in this place, and it was this dawning realization that brought be back to the edge of life.
That, and the visits from my beloved Vet who despite so many other obligations managed to come to see me, bringing nourishing soups that his wife made whenever he could. Food I could eat. Gary’s love and concern for me was visceral, and often we just sat in the dark as he held my hand. We have been friends for many years, and he was the person I called before I left for the hospital to come and take my hysterical dogs whose haunting screams will reverberate through my body for the rest of my life. In ten years, my little girls and I had never been separated. Gary, in between holistic medical and herbal lecturing across the country also managed to have someone bring the dogs to me for visits. Meanwhile he made sure they were cared for. The first time Hope and Lucy saw me they just stared at me dumbly. No reaction. They believed I was dead.
The moment Gary became Power of Attorney my life suddenly changed radically. I had already told staff I was not going to stay, but before this shift I was aware that these people had no intention of letting me go until they thought the time was right. Up until then I had absolutely no control over my life.
The very next day I was released. Coming home severely dehydrated, and so emaciated I could barely stand upright, it was with profound relief that I fell into my own bed, sensing again the reality of my close encounter with death. Visits from my dogs, my beloved forest, trees with leaves drifting to the ground, the sound of my brook, incredibly kind women (just the opposite of the bitch who told me she was caring for my plants and dumping the de humidifiers, my plants were moldy on my return and the de -humidifiers had been turned up to 70 ), daily conversations with Gary and visits from other out of state friends helped me to balance out the terror. This week Hope and Lucy finally came home.
I feel blessed.
I am incredibly grateful to the many people that have genuinely supported me, and when I recover, I am going to volunteer to help others, just as I have been helped. The generosity of so many has moved me deeply, but Gary’s steadfast attention and love have been the cornerstone of my recovery. The depth and breadth of friendships like this one cannot be adequately expressed in words.
The most important reason I am sharing this story is to alert and implore anyone who has irresponsible, uncaring untrustworthy family members, or none at all, take concrete steps to have someone become a legal Advocate before tragedy strikes, because in this broken health system without someone to intervene on your behalf, a person is doomed.