[Editor’s Note: This piece was presented during the first and inaugural S/HE Divine Studies Forum held on September 7th, 2024.]
I was going to read the piece that I contributed to the wonderful groundbreaking book we’ve been speaking about here: Wounded Feminine: Grieving with Goddess, but I do take my cues from Divine Mother, and when we were on a comfort break she just dropped in something that she wanted me to speak of, so I haven’t actually prepared it, and I’m just going to kind of wing it and hope that She’s brought it up for a good reason!
She drew my attention to the word blockage. And I love the word matriversial, by the way. But she drew my attention to the word blockage, and I noticed that it is made up of two words “Block” and “Age”. Block can be a shape, or it can be an obstruction. And age can be time. It can mean things like dying/aging, time, or it can relate to a phase.
And I was then thinking about what a blockage is. And, you know, if we have a blockage in the body, we’re sick. So, you know, our ears are blocked. Our nose is blocked. Arteries or urinary tract retract are blocked. We know that that’s a sickness, and it’s the body’s way of getting our attention and a shout and a cry for help. And it’s asking for healing to come back to wholeness. And likewise, if we have a blockage in our home, so if the drains are blocked or maybe the WiFi signal is down so it’s blocked, we know that gets our attention and it’s asking for something to be done about it.
Now, when I go back and think about the times when I’ve been really entrenched in grief and I’ve had really deeply grieving periods of my life, grief almost killed me. And I know that we don’t talk about that a lot, but grief does kill people. I’ve had an awful lot of people I love die by suicide. And they died because grief was just overwhelming for them. So they were drowning in the seas that Clare mentioned. They were drowning in it. They were overwhelmed by grief and that is when it turns into despair. And if despair isn’t dealt with it can lead to people dying by suicide.
Suicide is featured in my own life. I’ve attempted to take my own life in the past, and I have been under, Crisis Teams that we have here in the U.K. who look after people who are considered to be a high risk of suicide. In the past, I have been under them for a number of years. So it’ s something that’s really been prominent in my life when I have been in this deep phase of grieving.
What’s happened for me is it’s been a catalyst, and I have befriended my own heart because there was no choice. It was literally die or do it. And it was through befriending my own heart that I found the Goddess. That was where she lives within me. That’s where I found Her that healed me. Held me, supported me. It was Her who got me through. And this is not something like, you know, when I was 19 years old, for example. I had my first pack of Goddess Oracle cards. And I pray to the Goddess. I write about the Goddess. I talk about the Goddess. I have altars for the Goddess. This is a very deep embodied somatic experience of Goddess being alive and in my cells and being one with Her.
So when I think about the world as a whole, and what we can see in the world at the moment is a deep sickness. You know, we’ve got genocide, the most horrific genocide imaginable. We’ve got rape, abuse, murder. Indeed, suicide is skyrocketing – the rates for suicide right up. So when we think about that it’s the cry for help.
That is the blockage. And that is the cry for help. Just the same as we have the sickness in the body that might cry for help or a problem in the home with a blockage that’s asking for attention. That is a call to action for everybody. And on top of sacred activism, which I know everybody here knows the importance of – there is an action that every single person can do, and that is to love their own heart.
If every single person in the world stopped right now in this moment altogether all at once and they all befriended their heart, patriarchy would die and it would not come back to life, because that’s where the Goddess lives.
We all know that love is the creator of all and we know that Goddess is the creator of all. And there’s no separation – She is the love in our heart, and She’s the one that can solve all of this. But people have to reach the point; they have to be at the “age” that they notice the blockage and then it will become unblocked for all.